Twisting a good thing...

So I was talking to a new friend last week, and she pointed out something along the lines of, "Randy, you worry too much."
And then she said that she was a 'worrier' too, so it kinda took the pressure off.
But I caught on to something last night as I prayed, that made my explanation all the more real than it had been that afternoon:

What I said, yet only partially understood at the time, was that I am an interceder. Supposedly, it's a spiritual gift. But either way, it's what God made me.
The problem is that intercessions and worry go hand-in-hand. They don't have to, but they do. They do for me, anyway.

I can sit down (or stand up, actually--I prefer to stand) and pray for hours and hours and hours about things which are pointed out to me. Things that could happen. Things which might happen. Things which would harm the brethren, or snare a specific brother. Things which would cause suffering and grief. Things which would damage our once-faithful nation. Things which would harm my friends and their families. Things which would harm my school, its leadership, or its students. Things which might come up against my church, or the staff, or the college group.
ALL THESE THINGS come into my head, all the time. So, I pray against them. And pray that good things will happen in their stead.

But things just get more and more desperate. And then, the next thing I know, desperation is manifesting itself in the form of worry.
Not necessarily worry for the things I am praying against, either; it can be worry about any number of things.
Lately, I have been worried about my parents. Recently, I have been worried about a couple of friends. Previously, I was worried about... well, you get the idea.

The point is, the worry is a result of the intercessions, and NOT the other way around. That's important.


Sigh. And so starts a new Saturday.