Whew.
EDIT: just read the comment to my other entry. Who are you, and to what do you refer? I already know the second part. And that answer is no. And yes. But in a healthy way, so I am okay with it.
Wow. What a day... two of them.
Family stuff. I am sorry I'm not there to help, but I don't know that it would help if I was there.
Friend stuff. Roller coaster. I wanna talk about it, but I don't want to, too.
Today was weird. We couldn't really work, although Angela and I succeeded in getting a van and trailer stuck in the mud... ON THE RUNWAY. That was exciting. So we took Mark in to town to drop him off at the airport (bummer). That was weird, because we got to take the luxo-truck. That never happens. But his flight was so early (705pm) that when we were done, I dunno, it just kinda threw me off. Felt like we didn't do enough stuff there. It was kind of a strange goodbye, too. But that's okay... I am still coasting off of the last goodbye I had, when it was I who was leaving. I thought I was leaving for good, and that kinda made a strange feeling in my heart, stomach, mind, throat, etc. But that was a GOOD goodbye. So I didn't need a great one this time.
Anyhow, came back to the cold, rainy, lonely ranch. It's just me and Kostya in the garage/cafe right now, and Angela has already gone to bed, and I don't know what Brian is up to. But it's just us four here. That's kinda strange- never been that small a group since I got here in May 05. That was just me and Brian and Joel. But when you get used to 25, it just seems so empty with 4.
My bunk cabin is going to seem so lonely with just myself in it tonight. That's okay, I can spend time praying for the guys that aren't there anymore. Maybe I will remember to do that.
I think I am about to interview for a job that I may not want. I don't know... much confusion. I know what I am thinking, but I also know myself... we'll see. More on that as it develops in my head.
Something I have been thinking about lately. I try to give other people what I wish they'd give me. I think that's the right thing to do.
But sometimes, I realize that what I would want in a situation IS DIFFERENT FROM what another man would want in the same situation. Sometimes, I know I need a pat on the back to reaffirm me. So, I try to give them to other folks. But sometimes, I realize later that a pat on the back may not have been what that person wanted right then.
Am I over analyzing? Probably. Four-Eight-Eight-Worry-Wart, at your service.
Wow. What a day... two of them.
Family stuff. I am sorry I'm not there to help, but I don't know that it would help if I was there.
Friend stuff. Roller coaster. I wanna talk about it, but I don't want to, too.
Today was weird. We couldn't really work, although Angela and I succeeded in getting a van and trailer stuck in the mud... ON THE RUNWAY. That was exciting. So we took Mark in to town to drop him off at the airport (bummer). That was weird, because we got to take the luxo-truck. That never happens. But his flight was so early (705pm) that when we were done, I dunno, it just kinda threw me off. Felt like we didn't do enough stuff there. It was kind of a strange goodbye, too. But that's okay... I am still coasting off of the last goodbye I had, when it was I who was leaving. I thought I was leaving for good, and that kinda made a strange feeling in my heart, stomach, mind, throat, etc. But that was a GOOD goodbye. So I didn't need a great one this time.
Anyhow, came back to the cold, rainy, lonely ranch. It's just me and Kostya in the garage/cafe right now, and Angela has already gone to bed, and I don't know what Brian is up to. But it's just us four here. That's kinda strange- never been that small a group since I got here in May 05. That was just me and Brian and Joel. But when you get used to 25, it just seems so empty with 4.
My bunk cabin is going to seem so lonely with just myself in it tonight. That's okay, I can spend time praying for the guys that aren't there anymore. Maybe I will remember to do that.
I think I am about to interview for a job that I may not want. I don't know... much confusion. I know what I am thinking, but I also know myself... we'll see. More on that as it develops in my head.
Something I have been thinking about lately. I try to give other people what I wish they'd give me. I think that's the right thing to do.
But sometimes, I realize that what I would want in a situation IS DIFFERENT FROM what another man would want in the same situation. Sometimes, I know I need a pat on the back to reaffirm me. So, I try to give them to other folks. But sometimes, I realize later that a pat on the back may not have been what that person wanted right then.
Am I over analyzing? Probably. Four-Eight-Eight-Worry-Wart, at your service.
posted by Elmo at 12:14 AM
2 Comments:
Where are you exactly these days?
all your pats on my back were well-placed. thanks.
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