But wait... I choose... SOMETHING ELSE!!!

So the background to this thought, before I give it to you, is something like this: I was sitting in my car (which I have spent the last two days repairing) on my way to... gasp... the mall. And this huge weight just flew off of my shoulders, as I had a cathartic realization. The definition of cathartic is perfect:
A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit."

Anyhow, so what I thought to myself was, "I like myself too much to be upset by this."
It's been a long time since I could say that I like myself very much. But being home, boppin' around Irving, remembering the good times that were here, the crazy person I used to be... as I type this, I can consider how far the Lord has brought me in the last few years. Six years, I'd say... maybe 5.
And I like it.
I like me. It's been a long time since I had that confidence.

I think something Mark said had a profound affect. Maybe not what he meant it to. Well actually, when he said it, I decided I'd figure it out later.
But it came back to haunt me yesterday. And then again today.

So I let loose, got wild, and did crazy things today.
And I had a blast.

For a few fleeting minutes, I let go. I stopped being 'responsible'. I had a great time.

So the point is... Well, I know that this is yet another ambiguous blog post from me. That's because some of the events I am referring to are best kept private. But the point is, I have CHOSEN to not let them get me down.

I got really... really... a lot of different things about it. But, the thing is...
I AM AN AWESOME PERSON!!! The Lord makes me that way!!!
And the quality of who I am, or how I am, or what I am... IS NOT DETERMINED BY THE CHOICES OF OTHER PEOPLE!!!
Angela was so right when she said, "Well, Randy, you didn't do anything wrong."
Which is correct. All these days I have been asking myself, "What did I do WRONG???"


Thanks, Ang. You're a good friend. Not because you say what I want to hear, but because you speak the TRUTH- even when I don't want to hear it.
I just hope you were wrong about that one thing.

When I got to the mall, I was just about dancing around. I didn't want to be the mall weirdo, but man... I was groovin'. I kept hearing thug music, and wanting to groove to that. You just had to be there.

I want to close with some song lyrics. You know how I am with songs... the lyrics just stand out in my mind.
I know who I'd sing these to right now, but that's stupid. So, some girl out there, wherever you are, this is for you:

"I am the man who will fight for your honor.
I'll be the hero you're dreaming of.
Gonna live forever, knowing together,
That we did it all for the glory of love."

So I am going to sit back, enjoy the rest of my Tumbleweed (quite possibly the best mixed drink on Earth), and pack for the Great Land. And sleep. Sleep well.
Especially after all these Tumbleweeds!