How do I stop this thing?
Wow, so many thoughts! So much going on!
I am stuck in a place I don't want to be, figuratively. Alaska is great, I don't mean that kind of place.
I don't think I can write what I am thinking about a certain situation, because it would be read by the wrong people.
Suffice it to say that I am very humbled lately, and also very fearful. My good friend and confidant David said something last night that got me worried. I know, I know, don't worry. But I do. Except when I am talking to God, and then I try to convince Him that it's "concern" and not worry. Sometimes that's true. Other times, it's worry.
POINT IS, don't back down.
Other thoughts...
Wow, one job interview went WONDERFULLY, and the other went TERRIBLY. HORRIBLE. It was awful. Yanked my confidence right out from under me. But, that's not necessary... to let that happen, I mean. I got a good job. It's a job I can keep for a while, and then either move on, or move up. Or go on strike. Nah.
I really don't want to talk about the bad one any more. I have told all of my close friends about it, and I was tired of telling the story to them even. And every time those words enter my head, my heart sinks, and my stomach knots up, and so I shove it out of my head and say, "NO- I am valuable, even if one person doesn't think so."
I miss my friends. This summer was strange- I managed to get MORE attached to some friends (unexpectedly), while I became LESS attached to others (also unexpectedly).
On the other hand, there's still one person I CANNOT figure out. And it bugs me. Because I know I need to. I have talked to Benjamin and David about it numerous times. I just can't put my finger on it. Aside from all the obvious stuff, there's just something else......
It's interesting to be here with the older folks. By older, I mean late 20s. I kinda fall between the just graduated 21-23 set, and the returning veteran 26-28 set.
BUT- now that the young'uns are all gone, it's interesting to sit around with the old ones, and TALK ABOUT THE YOUNG'UNS!!!
The funny thing? We all seem to agree. Go figure. The funniest phrases last night. Like, "WOW." And, "Yep!"
It's interesting how much people talk about people. I certainly do, and I know I get in trouble, so I try not to. But I still do. Everybody I talked to yesterday wanted to talk about people. Which I don't mind.
Kostya and Dwayne are jumping in Sierra-Delta to go to Soldotna tomorrow morning. Sounds like fun. Too bad it's a two-seat aircraft, or I'd go!!
I missed out on flying with Mark. I wanted to. But I didn't feel so great, and the weather didn't cooperate. Maybe we'll get another chance some day.
I am stuck in a place I don't want to be, figuratively. Alaska is great, I don't mean that kind of place.
I don't think I can write what I am thinking about a certain situation, because it would be read by the wrong people.
Suffice it to say that I am very humbled lately, and also very fearful. My good friend and confidant David said something last night that got me worried. I know, I know, don't worry. But I do. Except when I am talking to God, and then I try to convince Him that it's "concern" and not worry. Sometimes that's true. Other times, it's worry.
POINT IS, don't back down.
Other thoughts...
Wow, one job interview went WONDERFULLY, and the other went TERRIBLY. HORRIBLE. It was awful. Yanked my confidence right out from under me. But, that's not necessary... to let that happen, I mean. I got a good job. It's a job I can keep for a while, and then either move on, or move up. Or go on strike. Nah.
I really don't want to talk about the bad one any more. I have told all of my close friends about it, and I was tired of telling the story to them even. And every time those words enter my head, my heart sinks, and my stomach knots up, and so I shove it out of my head and say, "NO- I am valuable, even if one person doesn't think so."
I miss my friends. This summer was strange- I managed to get MORE attached to some friends (unexpectedly), while I became LESS attached to others (also unexpectedly).
On the other hand, there's still one person I CANNOT figure out. And it bugs me. Because I know I need to. I have talked to Benjamin and David about it numerous times. I just can't put my finger on it. Aside from all the obvious stuff, there's just something else......
It's interesting to be here with the older folks. By older, I mean late 20s. I kinda fall between the just graduated 21-23 set, and the returning veteran 26-28 set.
BUT- now that the young'uns are all gone, it's interesting to sit around with the old ones, and TALK ABOUT THE YOUNG'UNS!!!
The funny thing? We all seem to agree. Go figure. The funniest phrases last night. Like, "WOW." And, "Yep!"
It's interesting how much people talk about people. I certainly do, and I know I get in trouble, so I try not to. But I still do. Everybody I talked to yesterday wanted to talk about people. Which I don't mind.
Kostya and Dwayne are jumping in Sierra-Delta to go to Soldotna tomorrow morning. Sounds like fun. Too bad it's a two-seat aircraft, or I'd go!!
I missed out on flying with Mark. I wanted to. But I didn't feel so great, and the weather didn't cooperate. Maybe we'll get another chance some day.
posted by Elmo at 10:22 PM
1 Comments:
shoot! we didn't get to go flying together either, Randy! i really am sorry over that. you were so kind to make your case that you'd rather go with me that day, and then...flop, those plans went. and you didn't get to go with Mark either!? im bummed.
i didn't realize you hav ebeen writing all this time. i have alot of catching up to do!
Post a Comment
<< Home