Notes, frustration, and sadness from the day.

I need to take a deep breath.
I suspected the issue was stress-related. And it was/is.
Grief.

I just want people to be happy and satisfied in the Lord.
And I am out of ideas.

It was really good to talk to Calvin. For several hours, even. Good stuff.

I am so torn and confused right now. About other people. Corey Ross said tonight, "Well, Randy, you need to strike a balance somewhere in the middle between "F You" and actually feeling other people's emotions." He's right.
But the thing is, I seem to be suffering from the latter, yet I never asked for it. I never wanted it.
And I am only glad to have it if I can actually help my brothers and sisters. Otherwise, it's only dragging me down.

I need to go to the YMCA in Houston again. That place has a very special jogging track- one that you can get lost on. That's rare. But very great.

Okay, thoughts from this morning.

1. I am keeping an account, when I told the other person not to, and wish that he wouldn't. That's personal, so I'll leave it at that.

2. A quote from Greg Reynolds:
"Without love in a friendship, you grow closer and closer until you hate each other. And that's the end of it."
I've actually been trying to redefine my ideas about friendship lately, as I grow in the Lord, and He teaches me more about what He is like. I'm not sure it's working.

3. The quality of my friendship is NOT determined by whether my friend divulges all of their thoughts to me. That's not trust. I thought it was, but I was wrong.

That's enough for now, things are looking up, and I need to go do fluid mech.