I love FTW

So I've just come back from Fort Worth. I love that city. It's just so... not Dallas. I've blogged about it before, I know. But. It reminded me of a new Madonna song. Her new CD is... interesting. The song isn't that great, but I decided to do a parody of it. You know, insert my words instead of hers. I'll also tone it down for ya, the racy parts. The point is to substitute the names of cities I have actually been to. Here goes:


I don't like cities,
But I like Fort Worth.
Other places make me feel life's dearth.
Longview is for people who sleep.
DC and Denver
Baby you can keep,
Baby you can keep...

[Chorus]
Dallas always make me mad
Seattle always make me sad
No other city ever made me glad except Fort Worth
I love Fort Worth

If you don't like my attitude
Then you can jump off
Just go to Tampa-
Isn't that where they golf

Fort Worth is not for city boys who whine;
If you can't stand the heat
Then get off my street!

[Chorus]
Chicago always make me mad
Anchorage always make me sad
No other city ever made me glad except Fort Worth
I love Fort Worth


Okay. That was a horrible attempt at conveying that I like Fort Worth a WHOLE lot better than just about every city I have been to. But it's true. Anchorage bums me out- lots of desparation there, among people of all walks. Seattle seems like a poser. Minneapolis is too cold. Houston always seems mad at me. Tampa doesn't know who it is. DC is too inacessible, both physically and emotionally; I've been there three times in the last 2 years, and just can't connect with it. Pittsburgh? No thanks.
And Dallas is the icing on the cake. The more time I spend there, the more I dislike it. Too many thugs asking me for money. And being rude about it. Geesh, if you're gonna ask me for a buck, don't be rude. And I don't like walking around downtown there either.

And then I drive out there tonight, and find that Fort Worth has decorated its skyscrapers for Christmas. Christmas lights, on SKYSCRAPERS!!
And the city is so much... friendlier than Dallas. Nicer than other cities. Slower. Prettier.

Have a good Friday.