Uhhhh... oh boy.

Sigh.

I know what part of my heart wants. But I also know what my head says. And various parts of my brain.

This is truly a conundrum.
I have prayed about it. So I will wait for God to answer. But do I have time to wait? Sure I do. But do I? I'm not sure. My head says, "Of course, you must always wait for God to make His will clear." Then my heart says, "Uh, yeah, that can be a very long wait. Especially for those times when He chooses NOT to make His will clear."

Sigh.



I am jamming out to some music right now... some music that I like. It reminds me of things. I'm not quite sure what. It reminds me of how life was three years ago. Waaaay back when I was a freshman/transfer here. It reminds me of an innocence I have lost. Given up. Thrown away. It reminds me of a time when I didn't know certain things, when I wasn't familiar with some of lifes' unpleasantries. Back before people died. When I just assumed that friends stayed that way. When I thought that a person could be content with just a single roommate for the entire time they spent in the dorm. When I thought that all of life's problems had a simple (simple to describe, if difficult to achieve) solution.

And then, I grew up.
Which is not a bad thing. The Lord brings us through what He wants us to come through. For whatever reasons.

Work tomorrow- I should be in bed.