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Okay, more posting now.
Alaska is great. I like it a lot. Better than Virginia. Granted, the people here are WAY weird. Especially in Palmer. Whoa. Weird. But, I guess people in general are weird anyhow.
Strange things happen. I just had kind of a vision of the way things might be in ten years... just let my imagination run away... and it was sad to think of a person I care a tremendous lot about just kinda... staying as they are, not going anywhere in life. That's harsh. I don't want that for her. But I think she does. I think she wants to be able to pity herself. People do that, you know. I do that sometimes.
So, anyhow. I was thinking earlier about posting a blog, because there was something I had to say, and now I can't remember it.
I don't understand life. Why people want to hurt each other. Why people want to hurt themselves. I don't understand it. And it really bothers me. There is so much hurt right now. One particular woman comes to mind. I met her this summer. She and her son are so beautiful. But daddy is gone. I know his parents, met them up here too. And there is just to much hurt. It's on everyone's faces. Except the little boy- he doesn't understand yet. I just wanna hug them all and say, "It's gonna be okay- in the next life, there will be no pain, and we will all be reunited at a family reunion sort of thing, with hot dogs and root beer floats."
But hugging people is rarely appreciated. Indeed, a certain friend of mine from Spokane doesn't like it one bit. And I can't give those people any more comfort than they already have. Which is very little, and at the same time, very much.
And I don't think that there will ever be a big barbecue in the sky. As much as I want to, one day, be reunited with all my Penn2 buddies and laugh and joke (clean jokes, actually, words that lift the heart) and play cards, I don't think that's how it will be.
I used to pray that heaven would be a certain way, or a certain other way. But now I am afraid to. I don't feel I have the right to ask God to make eternity the way I want it.
I am working on a project. You want to know something? Bearing a secret can be a very heavy burden. I pray for this one that has told me this thing. It hurts my heart to think of these terrible things which happen. Especially since she doesn't realize these things are dangerous. Please join me in praying for her.
The Jeremy Camp concert last night was great. He rocked my face off. His testimony is incredible. Afterward, our group headed over to Starbucks. We had a blast. Then we went to Cook's Inlet, and stood at the lookout spot. It was great. It was, hands down, the best Friday night I have had since I got here. And, as strange a place as Anchorage Alaska is, I think I kinda grew to like it last night. It reminds me of several places. Dallas in a way, but more like Austin, with their many weirdos, and Seattle, with their eclectic population. Yes, Anchorage is a very strange place. But I kinda like it.
I talked with a friend tonight, and was left with some interesting ideas. He complained about people sitting around in their dorm rooms, glued to the TV or computer or whatever. He prefers to do physical things. He has lots of energy- praise God. He pointed out in a recent blog that this is supposed to be the prime of our lives. Indeed. I, however, need to spend the prime of my life doing different things than he. See, he already has some spiritual disciplines that I don't have. I need to spend this prime of my life with God, and I have to make a bigger effort of it than he does. Praise God- were not in the same place. We discussed our backgrounds a little, in response to his blog. I pointed out that for some reason, God chose not to give him some of the trials that other men have already been through. We don't know why, but apparently, that is not who God needs him to be.
He needs to spend the prime of his life doing physically active things, while he still has the ability and free time. I need to spend the prime of my life learning how to deal with God more- while I have the ability and free time. Adults (wait, aren't I one of those yet??) always seem to be finding ways to 'not have time' for important things. I don't want to be like that.
God is not a being that can only inhabit my free time, see. He has to have it all. I pray that He would take more. I wish that He were in the times that I have shut Him out.
Lord, I praise You for bringing me to this place. This far-away land needs to be shown Your love. I praise You for introducing me to the people that I have met; people that have changed my life forever. Hal Farrar. Dave and Tam Ketscher. Dwayne and Carolyn King. I praise You for allowing me to work on the airplanes. I praise You for the work I like, and for the work I don't like, because that makes me be a better man. And You more than any mere man know that I need to be a better man.
Alaska is great. I like it a lot. Better than Virginia. Granted, the people here are WAY weird. Especially in Palmer. Whoa. Weird. But, I guess people in general are weird anyhow.
Strange things happen. I just had kind of a vision of the way things might be in ten years... just let my imagination run away... and it was sad to think of a person I care a tremendous lot about just kinda... staying as they are, not going anywhere in life. That's harsh. I don't want that for her. But I think she does. I think she wants to be able to pity herself. People do that, you know. I do that sometimes.
So, anyhow. I was thinking earlier about posting a blog, because there was something I had to say, and now I can't remember it.
I don't understand life. Why people want to hurt each other. Why people want to hurt themselves. I don't understand it. And it really bothers me. There is so much hurt right now. One particular woman comes to mind. I met her this summer. She and her son are so beautiful. But daddy is gone. I know his parents, met them up here too. And there is just to much hurt. It's on everyone's faces. Except the little boy- he doesn't understand yet. I just wanna hug them all and say, "It's gonna be okay- in the next life, there will be no pain, and we will all be reunited at a family reunion sort of thing, with hot dogs and root beer floats."
But hugging people is rarely appreciated. Indeed, a certain friend of mine from Spokane doesn't like it one bit. And I can't give those people any more comfort than they already have. Which is very little, and at the same time, very much.
And I don't think that there will ever be a big barbecue in the sky. As much as I want to, one day, be reunited with all my Penn2 buddies and laugh and joke (clean jokes, actually, words that lift the heart) and play cards, I don't think that's how it will be.
I used to pray that heaven would be a certain way, or a certain other way. But now I am afraid to. I don't feel I have the right to ask God to make eternity the way I want it.
I am working on a project. You want to know something? Bearing a secret can be a very heavy burden. I pray for this one that has told me this thing. It hurts my heart to think of these terrible things which happen. Especially since she doesn't realize these things are dangerous. Please join me in praying for her.
The Jeremy Camp concert last night was great. He rocked my face off. His testimony is incredible. Afterward, our group headed over to Starbucks. We had a blast. Then we went to Cook's Inlet, and stood at the lookout spot. It was great. It was, hands down, the best Friday night I have had since I got here. And, as strange a place as Anchorage Alaska is, I think I kinda grew to like it last night. It reminds me of several places. Dallas in a way, but more like Austin, with their many weirdos, and Seattle, with their eclectic population. Yes, Anchorage is a very strange place. But I kinda like it.
I talked with a friend tonight, and was left with some interesting ideas. He complained about people sitting around in their dorm rooms, glued to the TV or computer or whatever. He prefers to do physical things. He has lots of energy- praise God. He pointed out in a recent blog that this is supposed to be the prime of our lives. Indeed. I, however, need to spend the prime of my life doing different things than he. See, he already has some spiritual disciplines that I don't have. I need to spend this prime of my life with God, and I have to make a bigger effort of it than he does. Praise God- were not in the same place. We discussed our backgrounds a little, in response to his blog. I pointed out that for some reason, God chose not to give him some of the trials that other men have already been through. We don't know why, but apparently, that is not who God needs him to be.
He needs to spend the prime of his life doing physically active things, while he still has the ability and free time. I need to spend the prime of my life learning how to deal with God more- while I have the ability and free time. Adults (wait, aren't I one of those yet??) always seem to be finding ways to 'not have time' for important things. I don't want to be like that.
God is not a being that can only inhabit my free time, see. He has to have it all. I pray that He would take more. I wish that He were in the times that I have shut Him out.
Lord, I praise You for bringing me to this place. This far-away land needs to be shown Your love. I praise You for introducing me to the people that I have met; people that have changed my life forever. Hal Farrar. Dave and Tam Ketscher. Dwayne and Carolyn King. I praise You for allowing me to work on the airplanes. I praise You for the work I like, and for the work I don't like, because that makes me be a better man. And You more than any mere man know that I need to be a better man.
posted by Elmo at 12:22 AM
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