Girls and Guys
And you wanna know my conclusion to the age old question?
My answer is no.
A guy and a girl can’t be ‘just friends.’ There you go, Angela.
Here are some qualifiers that I have thought of.
First, “a guy and a girl can be GREAT friends- but it’s rare.” That thought hasn’t changed since this summer in Dwayne’s garage. It’s rare. And typically, when it happens, one person is lying to the other, and to himself or herself.
The NEW thought is that, furthermore, a guy and a girl can’t be friends the same way that two people of the same gender can. The differences are too great. It’s the way we’re made. I struggle with things men struggle with, and am completely in the dark as to the things women struggle with. They can describe it to me, but it doesn’t really enlighten me. Some things about women I will NEVER understand! And that’s WONDERFUL!!! God made us different. No, girls, you CAN’T do everything guys can do! And we CAN’T do everything you can do! Praise the Lord!
We’re different. And I think that difference prevents us from being the best of friends.
I greatly value my friendships with Angela, Daisy, Jacki, and certain other women. But they’re not the same type of friendship as a guy can have with a guy.
I think men and women were meant to make friends and then fall in love. Guys and girls weren’t MEANT to ‘just be friends.’ They were meant to be MARRIED.
But me and my closest guy friends can cut to the chase and discuss what needs to be discussed. This topic varies through the seasons of life. As a teen, they may be temptation related. When I was a teen, I struggled with temptations in areas like… hmm…. Alcohol, drugs, bad language, bad music, and the big one- sexual temptations of all sorts. Girls can barely understand the way guys are tempted toward alcohol, drugs, etc. But in NO WAY can they understand how sexual temptations affect us. We’re so chemically different, that they don’t understand what happens in our heads. And we don’t understand theirs, either. At all.
Later in life, men deal with career issues. And I need a friend now, and will surely need a friend in the future, who understands the way a man thinks about those issues. Women aren’t built the same way we are, mentally. The instinct to provide for the family is different between men and women. Now, we’ve all seen examples of women in tough situations doing incredible things for their children. That’s not what I’m talking about though- I am not addressing capability; rather, I am addressing the norm.
In the late years of life, health issues arise. And I will need a friend that understands those issues just as I do. And a doctor too- I can’t imagine describing certain types of pain to a female doctor who cannot conceive of such pain. Likewise, I think the concept of a male OBGYN is ridiculous- how can he possibly understand what a woman is going through? Anyhow, you want a person that is similar to you to talk to.
For these reasons, I think that our best friends should be people that are the same sex as we are.
My answer is no.
A guy and a girl can’t be ‘just friends.’ There you go, Angela.
Here are some qualifiers that I have thought of.
First, “a guy and a girl can be GREAT friends- but it’s rare.” That thought hasn’t changed since this summer in Dwayne’s garage. It’s rare. And typically, when it happens, one person is lying to the other, and to himself or herself.
The NEW thought is that, furthermore, a guy and a girl can’t be friends the same way that two people of the same gender can. The differences are too great. It’s the way we’re made. I struggle with things men struggle with, and am completely in the dark as to the things women struggle with. They can describe it to me, but it doesn’t really enlighten me. Some things about women I will NEVER understand! And that’s WONDERFUL!!! God made us different. No, girls, you CAN’T do everything guys can do! And we CAN’T do everything you can do! Praise the Lord!
We’re different. And I think that difference prevents us from being the best of friends.
I greatly value my friendships with Angela, Daisy, Jacki, and certain other women. But they’re not the same type of friendship as a guy can have with a guy.
I think men and women were meant to make friends and then fall in love. Guys and girls weren’t MEANT to ‘just be friends.’ They were meant to be MARRIED.
But me and my closest guy friends can cut to the chase and discuss what needs to be discussed. This topic varies through the seasons of life. As a teen, they may be temptation related. When I was a teen, I struggled with temptations in areas like… hmm…. Alcohol, drugs, bad language, bad music, and the big one- sexual temptations of all sorts. Girls can barely understand the way guys are tempted toward alcohol, drugs, etc. But in NO WAY can they understand how sexual temptations affect us. We’re so chemically different, that they don’t understand what happens in our heads. And we don’t understand theirs, either. At all.
Later in life, men deal with career issues. And I need a friend now, and will surely need a friend in the future, who understands the way a man thinks about those issues. Women aren’t built the same way we are, mentally. The instinct to provide for the family is different between men and women. Now, we’ve all seen examples of women in tough situations doing incredible things for their children. That’s not what I’m talking about though- I am not addressing capability; rather, I am addressing the norm.
In the late years of life, health issues arise. And I will need a friend that understands those issues just as I do. And a doctor too- I can’t imagine describing certain types of pain to a female doctor who cannot conceive of such pain. Likewise, I think the concept of a male OBGYN is ridiculous- how can he possibly understand what a woman is going through? Anyhow, you want a person that is similar to you to talk to.
For these reasons, I think that our best friends should be people that are the same sex as we are.
posted by Elmo at 2:41 PM
2 Comments:
Praise the Lord. Randy has seen the light! Just pickin', but I totally agree that your best friend has to be someone of the same sex. Some may disagree and say that in marriage your spouse becomes your best friend, but their ideals are a little warped. No offense, but some women (maybe even men) honestly think their husband is their best friend, but in these cases they don't have a healthy marriage, if it even lasts.
this is a post months in the making, and it came out superbly. you're so honest, clear and convincing. yeah, i see it now, why guys and girls can't be really close friends. a guy connects with a guy in harmonious friendship, whereas a girl completes a guy in the sacred marriage relationship. it is as difficult for a girl to step in and play a guy's role as it is difficult for a guy to step into the girl's role.
your words on the career 'instinct' certainly connect with me. i feel charged and propelled to drop everything and progress with my career. and for hardly any other reason now than I Want It.
great post.
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