Walking away from the boxes, off a cliff, and falling into arms I trust will be there

Hi, folks.

I am abandoning my religious beliefs.

Isn't that exciting!?!?!?!?!?!?

I feel free at last.

Here's a list of things I am walking away from:

• Relying on an institution or group of people for my spiritual guidance
  
• Guilty feelings about the music I listen to
  
• Questioning whether "God" really loves me enough to forgive all my sins... even the ones I am not technically 'sorry' for
  
• Trying to impress a group of people by fitting in with their beliefs, Scriptural or otherwise
  
• Allocating a certain portion of my finances to God, and nothing more
  
• Feeling guilty for not allocating a certain portion of my TIME to God
  
• Being my own lighthouse
  
• The inevitable integration of 'conservative' Christianity into politics
  
• Institutionalized, compartmentalized Christianity that ends when I want it to
  
• Excluding God from the areas of my life I don't want Him to see
  
• Feeling guilty for being alive every day
  
• "Sermonettes for Christianettes," a term borrowed from Mrs. Didlake
  
• Dreading worship of a God that deserves more worship than I am capable of giving
  
• The worship of created things, rather than their creator
  

Here's a list of things I want to run toward:

• Faithful giving out of love and desire and obedience, rather than rote obedience alone
  
• Loving people
  
• An actual, personal, loving, painful, eternal relationship with Jesus Christ, the true Son of God
  
• Being patriotic, and praying for the spiritual recovery of my country
  
• True, loving, deep, open, meaningful friendships with wonderful brothers and sisters, not hampered by societal do's and do-not's
  
• Sharing Jesus with others, even though I am not very knowledgeable, and scared to death of ridicule
  
• Love of His creation as evidence of His love
  
• Having the faith that God has forgiven me, yes, even for the sins I enjoyed committing
  
• Listening to music that glorifies God, regardless of its being labeled as 'Christian' or not
  
• Relying on my own faith to see me through, rather than leaning on those around me
  
• A relationship with Him than transcends all moods, seasons, wills, and fears
  
• Inviting Him (As I have done before) into all aspects of my life, and trusting in Him when I don't see Him change them the way I want
  
• Looking forward to a new breath of life each and every day, even though human life includes sinning
  

Basically, I was pondering the work of Martin Luther, so many centuries ago, and how he was unsatisfied with what he was being provided.  And I realized, "Hey, I am unsatisfied with what I am being given..."

So there you have it.  I am ready for a change.  I am throwing out the conventions and boxes I have built in my head.  I am shedding the use of what I perceive others to think as my moral guidelines.  I am not going to let anyone else tell me what is right, what is wrong, what to listen to, who to vote for, what to do with money, what to do with time...

Where do I expect to find the answers to these things?

In the Bible.

Where else?

The Bible is the infallible Word of God, see, and I know that He gave it to me to be my spiritual guide.

Now, I have certainly had access to the Bible for many years.  

But I don't use It the way for which It was intended.

I would really like to be alone right now.  In one certain place.  Because I think that this spiritual journey I am choosing to embark on is one of solitude and accountability to God, rather than any other person.  I kinda need to go to the top of Mount Sinai, and have God tell me face-to-face the things He commands of me, the areas I must change without delay.  

Unfortunately, that's not possible, due to the constraints of work and life.  

But that's okay.  I am convinced that there's a way to be with God that doesn't involve a Mount Sinai requirement.

I can think of several people in life that I admire for their hearts.  One person in particular.  But rather than just spend time with that person in the hopes that my heart will be transformed into one like his, I am asking God to transform my heart (indeed, and renew my mind) in more of a one-on-One kind of way.

Because my relationship with God is not about other people.  It's about me.  No, it's about HIM.

Lord, thank you for inspiring a revival in my heart and mind through the reading of 1 Peter last night.  I pray that you would use this time to renew my mind, to cast out the depravity I have welcomed, to change my heart, to create in me a spirit of faithfulness and hope, and to pull me toward Your amazing character every day.

In your Son's precious and powerful name, Amen."