Not sure, really.

Well, I haven't written here in a long, long time.

Every time I think to write something, it always turns into something petty, trite, small, inconsequential, temporal, and a dozen other adjectives for "of no use".

So tonight, I want to write something, but don't know what.

I have a lot on my mind, actually.  But I don't know what to make of it, and how to turn it into something literal and impressive, and literally impressive.

I miss some friends.

Yet I realize that life is full of separation.  The friends I had two years ago, I cannot hold on to now.  Similarly, the friends I have now won't be around two years from now.

I make these goals and aspirations.  I want to support this person in the missions field, I want to support that team, I want to support that institution... et cetera.

But is it all just a contrived attempt to hold on to what I think I have?

No, it's not.

One deep subject does come to mind this evening, come to think of it.

Lately I have been noticing the need to find a way to control my thoughts.  That is, to respond to things that pop into my head in an appropriate manner.  

Some schemes I allow to linger, when I should dismiss them immediately.  While other ideas I toss out so fast as to eliminate any chance of considering their true merit.

I have no control over what happens inside my head.

So I really need to work on that.

Well, I guess I'll quit there for tonight.