Time to breathe?

Whew, lots of thoughts.

First of all, man, this is tough. Mark left yesterday morning. Hated that. Keith left this morning. Hated that.
Still got a few of the people I love around, but man... they're starting to thin out.

Decided not to pursue this one thing with this one girl... but that's enough of that. And don't think you know who it is, either- because I didn't tell anybody.

Here are my thoughts from last night:
I have found myself pushing away. I shouldn't do that. It's a really good thing Mark came to say goodbye this morning, because mentally I had already started to, uh... just kinda turn off.
I can convince myself of lots of things that aren't true. Things like, "Well, I really don't need these friends very much anyway," or, "Shoot, I'm not really gonna miss anybody... not me, I'm tougher than that."
Bull crap.

I miss the books Keith had loned me. Because those books somehow came to symbolize the journey in my faith that I took this semester. And then I had to give them back to him last night... and can't finish reading them. Bummer.

I have so many other thoughts floating around right now.
Had a GREAT conversation with Calvin yesterday evening. That was good.

And a good talk with David. David and I can talk about just about ANYTHING... that's really nice to have a role-model like that. Because I don't really talk to my dad about much at all. We're not on the same page, much of the time. Love him a lot- make no mistake. But there's a lot about my life that he doesn't understand, and I am sure the reciprocal is true.

Yep.

In closing, I learned a bit this week.
I stopped faking that I wouldn't miss my buddies.
I discovered that some of the things I believe, well, I believe them because they're what I was told, as opposed to what I have learned on my own.
I learned that sometimes I am wrong, but sometimes, dern it, I AM RIGHT.
And in this one particular situation, I am right about several things.
I just pray that it doesn't get ugly.


And now, for the double-meaning of the week:
Funny, I can hear the siren; why the heck can't you?