Pressure.

Wow.
Seems like anytime we get onto the verge of a big spiritual breakthrough, the devil puts the brakes on as best he can. Yesterday was a powerful day, spiritually. It culminated in a great conversation with Mark.
And then today hit.
Today brought five substantial unpleasantries. It's late, and Mark is sleeping, so I won't detail them. But I really felt like the devil was trying to get me down, big-time.

And now I've just had a very long conversation with Benjamin. I am thankful, no doubt. But we got into some heavy spiritual stuff. Stuff that requires a respect of God, a fear of the future, and feelings of guilt over the past life I've led as a crummy American. In my own little box. Spiritually asleep, I fear. I hope not.

Lord, in the days that come before Your day, please, OH PLEASE do not let me be deceived. I am weak. I hope that I never have to give my life for Christ. I am afraid that, if demanded, I will make the wrong decision. So Lord, if that happens, give me the strength that it takes to do what is right.

On that note of desperation and reliance on God, for He is all I have or ever could hope to have, I will say night-night.