Decipher, unravel, untangle, resolve...
...the random thoughts I have been left to deal with on my own.
I realize tonight as I look through pictures two things:
First, I am missing some. That's not good.
But on a serious note, I realize something about wanting to go back.
When I tell myself that I want to go back, that's exactly what I want- to go back.
Not forward. I don't want to go to Alaska again. I want to go back. I want to go back to the same days, the same experiences, the same road trips, and (most of all) the same people.
I know that if I were to go there now, I would not find the people I want to see. And, if I did, I know that some of them are doing things I don't want to see.
And then I get thrown back into the beginning of the circle of wanting to go back. Back to the way I thought things were.
Why am I stuck? Is this a device of the devil, to keep me melancholy? It is.
That said, I'll shut up.
I will say that I really, really, really, really... very seriously need to go run.
Too bad I hurt my foot. I am definitely not interested in bleeding any more.
I realize tonight as I look through pictures two things:
First, I am missing some. That's not good.
But on a serious note, I realize something about wanting to go back.
When I tell myself that I want to go back, that's exactly what I want- to go back.
Not forward. I don't want to go to Alaska again. I want to go back. I want to go back to the same days, the same experiences, the same road trips, and (most of all) the same people.
I know that if I were to go there now, I would not find the people I want to see. And, if I did, I know that some of them are doing things I don't want to see.
And then I get thrown back into the beginning of the circle of wanting to go back. Back to the way I thought things were.
Why am I stuck? Is this a device of the devil, to keep me melancholy? It is.
That said, I'll shut up.
I will say that I really, really, really, really... very seriously need to go run.
Too bad I hurt my foot. I am definitely not interested in bleeding any more.
posted by Elmo at 7:35 PM
1 Comments:
Profound: "i don't want to go to Alaska. I want to go back." and "some of them are doing things i don't want to see." I don't completely share your desire to go back to the way things were. I'm at peace, i'm content. I have seen and I understand. It's priceless.
Satan would keep you from "reaching forth to those things that are ahead" and from playing life as it comes. How can you make the best of right now?
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