Hopeless?

No matter what I do,
it's not good enough for you.

I remember the days... when others were told that you wanted better for me. And now that I am striving and straining (against my own fears and apprehension), you don't want BETTER for me; you want SAME for me.

I never meant to ruin mom's birthday. I wanted it to be special.
Turns out, it would probably have been special... if I hadn't been there.

I still feel like poop.

I want to say that it's not my fault. Truth is, I am not the one that said those things. But, none of it would have happened... had I not been there.
I don't fit in. I am the black sheep. No, that's not true. Except it is. Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not. Confusing! I never know when I am going to be popular, and when I am going to make people miserable.

One prediction: how much do you want to bet that the cards with gifts stop coming from this point forward? Just a little bet I made to myself today.

I don't know if they're still mad or what.
I thought about going home this weekend, and taking Sam to the airshow at NAS Ft Worth. But it was $26 to go home last weekend, and that's $26 more than I am willing to spend on making everyone miserable.

Yeah, I know, Michael, that I am still carrying on about this.
But late at night (2am) it's what's on my mind.